Our members are pre-selected from birth following an intense 'incubation' period. When such a position becomes available we will find you if you are of the right pedigree. We have heard rumors of other cat related organisations and our understanding is that they love cats and we support this (although we never attend their meetings). On occasion some of our elders may attend cat related shows but that is purely for the collation of evidence of watchers (who often frequent such events) and to ensure that our name is not mentioned in the public domain. The recent writing of a book has caused us great upset that we have been mentioned in it, we do not support this book. Therefore and at this time please do not enquire about membership as there are a great many events happening as we speak. We thank you for your understanding and please be nice to cats.

In a word - no! Until recently no-one outside of our security order and our higher ranked elders knew of the existance of Scatterblades. Our technology is quite advanced compared to yours (are your trains still running late?) and as such we take the view that those outside of our Order would not be responsible users of Scatterblades. As for now we suggest you stick to Call Of Duty related games and discuss how bad the weather is again. Thank you

We have nothing further to mention about this other than falling objects were seen across the sky recently across the middle of England and heading towards North Wales. We are aware of television commentary made by members of the public that an alien invastion was underway or that it was a crashed spaceship. It should be noted that some of those comments were made after the drinking of cider and we do not take those seriously. Whilst it is true that many cats have been distrubed by this incident we can shed no further light on it at this time. We are not available for interview on the subject - thank you